Life

There have been a lot of changes in my life during the past 9 months. Situations I never thought I'd be in have suddenly surrounded me. It's been very hard to look within myself, to find my strength.

I'm very much more aware of others. I have an empathy for certain things that I didn't really have before. I've experienced real hatred for the first time. And, I'm slowly learning how to let go of it. I'm walking through the fire and praying for the strength to make it out the other side. Baptism by fire.

Hey! Hey.. YOU!

Yeah.. you. See that adorable, scrunchy faced lil guy in my profile pic over there? Yeah.. him. That's the wonderful little boy that gave me so much trouble. Jonathan Ryan was born on August 1, 2008 at 7:25 am via c-section. He and the peri share a birthday! And the peri's name is John, oddly enough. MY Jon came into the world weighing a healthy 8lbs. and 4oz and logging in at a leggy 21.5 inches in length. By far, he is my biggest baby. And this is a trend he continues to this day. His older brother is 2 1/2 and weighs 29lbs. Jon weighs 18. Oy. He's definitely my chunk.

Jon's a wonderful miracle. He's a special part of me and our family. He's laid back, fairly quiet, and when you look at him, you can just see him taking it all in. I'm almost afraid to learn what he's retained. Especially from his big brothers! He's always got this special squishy smile for me. He grins REAAALLLLYYYYY big and his eyes get all squishy. It's the most beautiful thing ever. Seriously.

His big brothers adore him. And he's learning things from them that I'm sure will scare me down the road. With mobility rapidly approaching, life is in constant flux. It's funny how when you're a kid, time just seems to crawl. But, when you're an adult, it flies by so fast you can hardly catch your breath at times.

I look at my children, and I see the endless future that lays open before them. I pray I'm doing my part to ensure their success. Being a parent is definitely the most rewarding and most frustrating job in the world. The biggest job of your life. You never realize it until you look at that sweet face for the first time. Then the enormity of the changes, the responsibility, stares back at you.